The Paradox of Action: An essay on decision-making
When we make decisions as humans, we usually weigh three factors: what we can do, what we should do and what we want to do. These considerations reflect the reality of our capabilities, the morality or rationality of our choices and our personal desires. Our decisions often come down to optimizing these variables based on different circumstances and priorities. I am writing this article on the recommendation of my good friend Alessandro since, due to the nature of our job and the fact that I am in my 20s, very often I need to make decisions that, at their given moment, seam of humongous size, but truth be told in 10 years (or more like 10 months) plenty will be meaningless.
The Three Points of Decision-Making
What We Should Do - Here, we consider what aligns with our responsibilities, ethics, or long-term values. It’s about making choices that feel right or make sense within a broader framework. This is where logic resides. Big decisions, tiny people. Often our careers and other long term responsibilities thrive when this is maximized, at least on the short term. This will always feel like what my mom would recommend me to do.
What We Can Do - This is about feasibility - what we can realistically achieve given our resources, time, and circumstances. It may seem counterintuitive to consider what’s not possible as a starting point, but often we stretch beyond reasonable limits to fulfill our desires and ambitions. While Rome wasn’t built in a day, the effort to achieve it was a grounded process with realistic steps. Setting aside grandiose notions, this point establishes the baseline for actionable possibilities.
What We Want to Do - This is where our desires, ambitions, and immediate wants come into play. Sometimes, these decisions are about instant gratification; other times, they reflect deeper aspirations. Not to be ignored, feelings of self resentment are a bitch. If there is someone we should not ignore, it is our inner self.
Life is nothing more, nothing less, than a balancing act between these three ideas. Overfitting to any one of them can cause chaos, but aiming straight for the middle isn’t always the right answer either. Sometimes, it’s about taking a chance and stepping out of what feels reasonable. And sure, while we could dive deep into debates about free will versus the randomness of the universe, the bottom line is this: the world we live in is shaped by the decisions we make - whether we’re fully aware of them or not. So, be mindful, take risks, and trust that every choice plays its part in the bigger picture.
The Archetypes
Many people in my life - and I’m sure in yours too, dear reader - perfectly embody one of the three corners of this triangle. These are them:
- What We Should Do - These are your parents (or people like them), more often than not. You think of them when you make a tough, wise choice. And guess what? They’re proud. Every-single-time.
- What We Can Do - This is that go-getter in your life, maybe a friend or mentor who seems to embody positivity and success. They’ll remind you that saying "yes" is often cooler than saying "no" and that sometimes you have to break a few “nos” to make a “yes.”
- What We Want - This one is all you MF. Don’t ignore that inner kid who just wants an ice cream every now and then. Seriously, throw them a bone - they deserve it
The Fool
Hopefully I don't look or sound like this fool. It’s not that deep, really….
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Can’t stop but notice that these metaphors or thought experiments that I consistently have come up over the course of my life (and will most likely continue) make me sound either delusional or very in touch with reality, really depends on who ever I am barking this shit to.
Conclusion
This is nothing revolutionary, I am not here trying to pretend I'm reinventing the wheel. This is just a thought. I picture this in my head every time “big” decisions are needed. I believe there's value in having a consistent, systematic, and reproducible way to approach important matters. Some might even call it scientific, HAHAHA. Ok, enough with this bullshit.